| No one really knows exactly how the first
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| | water. This is such a revered regulation
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| beer came into being ...
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| | that when the European Union facilitated
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| Suffice it to say that, around 10,000
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| | the introduction of other beers into the
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| years ago, somebody let a primordial
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| | German market, it took a court order for
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| barley and hop concoction stand long
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| | many stores to sell them. Most of those
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| enough for it to ferment. The result not
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| | beers contained preservatives, and to a
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| only made anonymous history, it was the
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| | respectable German, that meant --- and
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| genesis of beer's own special influence
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| | still does --- that such beverages were
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| throughout the ages.
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| | not beer.
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| Here are a few examples of note:
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| | In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints
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| It was the accepted practice in
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| | and quarts. So, in olde England, when
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| Babylonia, as early as 4000 years ago,
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| | customers got unruly, the bartender would
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| that for a month after a wedding, the
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| | yell at them to mind their own pints and
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| bride's father would supply his
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| | quarts and settle down. It's where we get
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| son-in-law with all the mead he could
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| | the phrase, "mind your P's and Q's."
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| drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because
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| | Also in England's olden days, pub
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| their calendar was lunar-based, this
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| | frequenters often had a whistle baked
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| period was called the "honey month" or
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| | into the rim or handle of their ceramic
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| what we know today as the "honeymoon." I
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| | cups. When they needed a refill, they
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| have also heard that the custom included
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| | used the whistle to get some service.
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| one of the most resourceful bits of
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| | "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired
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| propaganda ever created for husbands. As
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| | by this practice.
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| the story went, if the groom drank mead
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| | In 1740, Admiral Vernon of the British
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| for an entire moon, it would enhance the
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| | fleet decided to water down the navy's
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| chances of his wife bearing a male heir.
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| | rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't
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| The bride, however, had to abstain from
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| | too pleased and called Admiral Vernon
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| drinking alcohol at all. I'll leave the
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| | "Old Grog," after the stiff wool grogram
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| punch lines to you.
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| | coats he wore. The term "grog" soon began
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| After consuming a bucket or two of
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| | to mean the watered down drink itself.
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| vibrant brew they called 'aul,' or 'ale,'
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| | When you were drunk on this grog, you
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| a certain self-appointed breed of Vikings
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| | were "groggy," a word that has been
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| would head fearlessly into battle without
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| | expanded to include the effects of too
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| armor, or even without shirts. In fact,
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| | much beer and is still in use today.
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| the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in
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| | There are numerous quotations which pay
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| Norse, and eventually took on the meaning
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| | homage to beer. Allow me to list three of
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| of their wild behavior in battle. They
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| | the wittiest:
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| believed that Odin's favor was all they
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| | "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the
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| needed for protection, and if they were
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| | beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then, I
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| to die in combat, it was only because The
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| | look into the glass and think about the
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| Allfather decided it was their time to
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| | workers in the brewery and all of their
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| enter the hallowed halls of Valhalla.
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| | hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
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| This was Odin's great 'Castle of the
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| | beer, they might be out of work and their
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| Chosen Slain,' where 'inductees' would
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| | dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
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| spend eternity in Viking nirvana, ie-
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| | myself, 'It is better that I drink this
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| fighting all day, having their wounds
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| | beer and let their dreams come true than
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| miraculously heal at sundown, and then
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| | be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
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| partying all night, with generous
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| | -- Saturday Night Live's
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| quantities of ale at their beck and call.
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| | faux-philosopher, Jack Handy
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| Before thermometers were invented,
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| | "Put it back in the horse!"
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| brewers would dip a thumb or finger into
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| | -- W C Fields, disapproving of a
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| the mix to find the right temperature for
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| | sub-standard brew
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| adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast
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| | "Beer is proof that God loves us and
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| wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast
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| | wants us to be happy."
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| would die. This practice is where we get
| |
| | -- Benjamin Franklin
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| the phrase, "rule of thumb."
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| | Given a good pint, composed of God's
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| The first known consumer protection act
| |
| | natural ingredients and nurtured by man's
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| arose with the German Beer Purity Law of
| |
| | learned craft, beer has made us very
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| 1516, known as Rheinheitsgebot. This
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| | happy, indeed.
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| decreed that, in order to be called
| |
| | Just keep the joy below 0.08% of your
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| 'beer,' a beverage could only consist of
| |
| | blood content.
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| four ingredients: malt, hops, yeast and
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| |
|
