Sweet Sixteen Parties? More like Sour Sixteen, if you Watch MTV's Reality Show

"It's so great to boss people around."be formally introduced to polite society. What's
"It was awesome having cameras follow me...I'mmore, these debutante balls are often charity
awesome and I deserve it."occasions, "in which the parents of the young
"This is how it should be every time I enter aladies, as well as all attending, must contribute a
room." [teen as she is carried in on a litter]certain sum of money to the cause at hand,"
"I had to show people how rich I am."according to Wikipedia.
Do these comments make you want to throwMaybe MTV could take the hint...but doing good
up? Of course, and what's worse, they're real!works doesn't make for good TV; spoiled,
These bratty statements are actual quotes fromprivileged, selfish brats do. Indeed, Cox says,
the latest MTV reality stars: girls and boys whose"What used to mark the end of childhood now
super-rich and apparently super-tactless parentsseems only an excuse to prolong the whiny,
give the little darlings anything they desire forself-centered greediness that gives infantile a bad
their sweet sixteen parties. Throwing elaboratename. Far from joining polite society like the
televised bashes that cost upwards of $200,000debutants of the past, the kids gleefully rip
and indulging every whim of their prince orthrough social graces, alienating friends and
princess, the parents show who rules thesacrificing tact all in the name of creating a VIP
household (the kids) and what really mattersroom filled with people too young to drive
(getting your fifteen minutes however you can, inthemselves home." Yuck.
this case, by buying it). What a great life lesson: IfSo what's the parent of a teen to do when he or
you've got it, flaunt it, and it's okay to trashshe doesn't have a few extra hundred thou lying
people in your quest for pseudo-fame. These kidsaround? How about inviting a few close friends
make Paris Hilton and Omarosa look like beaconsand family for an intimate, meaningful sweet
of etiquette and accomplishment.sixteen party? Make the day extra special by
Sure, MTV's newest reality show, My Superpresenting your teen with some nice traditional
Sweet Sixteen, which premiered last January, issweet sixteen presents that won't break the
designed to be over the top and outrageous.bank, will be appreciated and won't be tossed
That's the whole point. It's the reality TVaside the moment something better comes along.
equivalent of a bloody train wreck: You areHere are some timeless sweet sixteen gift ideas
appalled, but you just can't avert your eyes. Theto celebrate this important right of passage for a
kids are so obnoxious and so clueless as to howchild who actually deserves the recognition:
awful they sound, that you stay glued to yourPearl Necklace: This timeless classic can carry
tube just to see what horrifyingly selfish thingyour teen from high school to college to her first
they'll say or do next.job and even to her wedding. She'll treasure it and
Never seen the show? It centers around a spoiledpass it on to her daughter some day. Round
teen or two, trailing them as they plan theirfreshwater strands are affordable and can rival
sweet sixteen party, make outrageous, selfishthe quality of saltwater akoyas.
demands, shed tears, throw tantrums, andPearl Ring: Another timeless treasure, the pearl
torture their peers with lines like, "You're notring is sweet and demure...and unique. Unlike a
important enough to be invited." Oh, and thendiamond ring, which has wedding connotations, or
there's footage of the actual party, where thea gold ring, which can be too flashy, a pearl ring
guest of honor may enter riding on a litter, behindgets just the right kind of attention.
the wheel of a luxury car, pulled by horses, orPearl Jewelry Set: Why not get her a complete
shuttled in a helicopter. The featuredpearl jewelry set? She'll be ensured of having a
entertainment might be Kanye West, Ciara,matching bracelet, pearl earrings and a pearl
Rihanna, or Diddy, the king of nouveau richnecklace that she can mix and match for any
tasteless excess himself, to name a few. At theoccasion.
end of the night, the kids are presented withDiamond Studs: A little pricey, but worth it, as
sweet sixteen gifts such as luxury vehicles (somediamond studs are a jewelry staple she'll wear
get two!), jewelry and even homes. Theirforever. If responsibility isn't your teen's
overindulgent, self-satisfied parents, portrayed tostrongpoint, CZ studs can look just as good, and
be every bit as awful as their kids-the truth, orat $40 or so a pop, it won't matter much if she
the result of careful editing we don't know-gloat inloses them.
the background. I guess money can't buyCharm Bracelet: A teen favorite for decades,
happiness, but it sure can by popularity.charm bracelets are special because they can be
Before you get too jealous of these pamperedpersonalized. Add a slipper charm for your
kids, consider how tough they have it, with theirballerina, a horseshoe for your equestrian, a pearl
every whim catered to, their everycharm for a June birthday girl... keep adding
foot-stamping demand met. As one teen put it,charms on every special occasion and soon she'll
"Being rich is hard work!" Indeed.have an unforgettable keepsake.
The materialism and extravagance of MTV'sFrame: A beautiful frame made of brushed
show is a far cry from what the average teenstainless steel, wood or mother-of-pearl makes a
can expect. Thank goodness, or we'd have agreat gift. To personalize it, fill it with a photo of
nation of brats, which couldn't be farther from theyou and the teen, a poem that reminds you of
truth. (TIME magazine's Anne Marie Cox wrote ofher, or her birthday horoscope.
MTV's teens in a recent article, "Their blingy flingsFor boys, magazine subscriptions and gift
are not celebrations of accomplishment; they'recertificates to the teen's favorite store, or even
celebrations of self.") Even debutantes, thosesixteen of something (16 CDs or 16 movie
clichéd well-to-do southern belles, hold apasses, for example), can make the day special.
coming out ball ostensibly not to show off, but toBest of all? No Diddy required.