| Fourteen years ago I was divorced from my | | | | actions. You wooed Kay, you were engaged to |
| second wife, her idea. I'll call her Kay. But I never | | | | Kay, you legally married Kay, and she left you for |
| lost my love for her. She married again and had | | | | another man. You might call her children the |
| two children. We always remained friends, | | | | children of another man, but they are her children. |
| however my new wife could not relate to that, | | | | They came out of her body. The children are |
| so contact via any manner was limited. | | | | completely innocent. |
| Kay divorced again about four years ago, and my | | | | Until you can get this turned around in your head, |
| wife just passed away recently. Kay sent her | | | | you need to consider whether to even meet Kay. |
| condolences and that has led to a meeting for | | | | The term which describes what you are doing is |
| coffee in the near future. First, I feel guilt because | | | | displacement. It means transferring emotion from |
| my wife's passing is not even a month old, and | | | | the original object to a more acceptable |
| my heart is buzzing for Kay. Second, my heart | | | | substitute. The loathing you feel for Kay's children |
| tells me I could live with Kay for the rest of my | | | | is really the loathing and anger you feel toward |
| life, but my intellect tells me I would be a fool to | | | | Kay for leaving you. |
| now raise the two kids of the man she left me | | | | Put the blame where it belongs. It doesn't belong |
| for. | | | | on the children, it belongs on Kay. Kay is looking |
| I feel if I ever commit myself to Kay, I may | | | | out for Kay. Like our friend with the Paso Fino, |
| regret the children, and our relationship would be | | | | you need to admit Kay's flaws and let her go. |
| ruined. I also feel if I don't commit myself to Kay, | | | | Wayne & Tamara |
| I may regret losing the woman I never stopped | | | | He Loves Me Not |
| loving. | | | | Me and my boyfriend recently split up. It was |
| Keith | | | | amicable, but he turned nasty, said he hated me, |
| Keith, a friend of ours is a superb horsewoman. A | | | | and erased me from his mobile. Then he decided |
| few years ago she acquired a stunningly beautiful, | | | | he would like to be friends. To make matters |
| gray Paso Fino horse. This horse had the | | | | worse, he keeps telling me he misses me and still |
| characteristic gait of the Paso Fino. When he | | | | loves me. I feel like he's messing with my head. Is |
| walked slowly forward, his hooves beat the | | | | there any advice you can give me in order to |
| ground in a perfect four beat rhythm like the | | | | either get him back or to move on? I feel like |
| rapid roll of a drum. She knew he had been | | | | he's playing games. |
| mishandled and abused by a string of previous | | | | Alice |
| owners. | | | | Alice, your ex-boyfriend has you pulling petals |
| Our friend saw the potential in this horse, but no | | | | from a daisy. With the first you say, "He loves |
| matter how much she worked with him, she | | | | me." With the second you say, "He loves me not." |
| could not make him achieve that potential. She | | | | He has you wondering which answer the final |
| experienced one more thing. This was a | | | | petal will yield. He has you playing games. |
| dangerous animal. A less accomplished rider might | | | | With a true love the flower isn't destroyed. All the |
| have been seriously injured. Finally, she had to | | | | petals are intact. But when someone makes you |
| admit the horse's flaws and let him go. | | | | play this game, know that the final petal always is, |
| In your imagination there is something about Kay | | | | "He loves me not." Accept the answer and move |
| which allows you to deny the reality of her | | | | on. |