| Here it is in a nutshell: it's the thought that counts | | | | on TV one Sunday afternoon, he commented, |
| because it's the thought itself that is actually the | | | | "Dad always promised to take me to |
| gift. The material expression of that thought is | | | | Cooperstown, to the Baseball Hall of Fame." And |
| what you wrap up in brightly colored paper and | | | | he almost managed to sound nonchalant when he |
| shiny ribbons. But if the gift inside does not clearly | | | | added "But we never got there." And you listened. |
| reveal The Thought, it may be splashy or clever | | | | And you cared. And you enjoyed the Great Gift |
| or impressive - but it will never be truly great. | | | | together by making arrangements to celebrate |
| What, then, in our quest to give great gift, is The | | | | your next anniversary in Cooperstown. |
| Thought We Should Be Thinking? | | | | Now, while this concept may have spectacular |
| Actually, it's so simple, I'm almost embarrassed to | | | | results when applied to our nearest and dearest, |
| say it. But The Thought We Should Be Thinking is: | | | | don't overlook its potential even in the |
| what do I want? Sound crazy? After all, if what | | | | office-Christmas-party ten-dollar-limit category. |
| we want is a fur coat/car/ticket to the Super | | | | Let's say you have to get a gift for Ms. Edwards |
| Bowl/vacation cruise/puppy, and the giftee | | | | in Accounting, and the first thought that springs to |
| happens to live in the Bahamas, doesn't have a | | | | mind is a pair of Isotoner gloves. But then you |
| driver's license, hates football, gets seasick, and is | | | | say: hey. Ms. Edwards is a pretty cool old lady. |
| allergic to dogs, wouldn't giving them what we | | | | Why not give her a Great Gift? Well, if you think |
| want be . . . well, thoughtless? Indeed. But - the | | | | she's a pretty cool old lady, that means you've |
| question is not: what material expression do I | | | | probably listened to her once or twice. What are |
| want? Since the thought itself is the gift, the only | | | | some of the things she said? How did she look |
| real question is: what thought do I want? | | | | when she said them? Think, now. Yes! That day in |
| And the thought we want from others - most of | | | | the lunchroom. She was talking about her days in |
| us, anyway - is to be thought of as special. We'd | | | | junior college when - aha! That's it! When she |
| like to know that they listen to what we say and | | | | wrote some sonnets for an English term paper! |
| that they care about what we want. What | | | | And how did she look when she said that? Why, |
| greater gift can there be? But - how can we give | | | | Ms. Edwards actually blushed! So you give her a |
| it? Why, by listening to what people say, and by | | | | nice little book of sonnets. Maybe with a note |
| caring about what they want. And if the gift lets | | | | inside. "Poems for a Poet," perhaps. And she |
| them know this, it will be a Great Gift. | | | | blushes again. Feels good, doesn't it? |
| "White lilacs," your wife said once, wistfully. "My | | | | And you can keep on feeling good, because |
| father gave me the most enormous bouquet of | | | | there's a virtually unlimited wealth of Great Gift |
| white lilacs for my sixteenth birthday." And you | | | | material out there. If you're willing to listen. To |
| listened. And you cared. And an enormous | | | | your parents and siblings, your spouse, your |
| bouquet of white lilacs was the Great Gift that | | | | friends, that nice guy down at the supermarket. |
| you gave her on . . . well, her next birthday. With | | | | You do listen to them, don't you? And you do |
| a card that said, "You'll always be my Sweet | | | | care about what they want? Well, then. The rest |
| Sixteen." | | | | should be easy. |
| While your husband was watching a baseball game | | | | |